Since I started a family blog I thought I would start one for just myself. I figure no one will read this anyways but I might feel better about some things if I send them out into what feels like the infinite abyss of nothingness instead of my private little journal...well maybe in addition to.
I think about D nearly every day. I wonder how he would have played with M. My mind wanders constantly and sometimes for just a second it feels like he's here. 5 years old and about to run down the hallway to tell me something exciting that just happened. I know, I know...probably not the healthiest thing and I'm sure other Moms who have a significant loss don't feel like this but I think my very active imagination plays a big role. Time is supposed to heal all wounds but I think this one may have become infected when I was 19 and will never really heal properly. Giving my life to God helps tremendously. I only wish I had not taken that hiatus from age 17-22. I came back and like only our Savior can do He has taken me lovingly back into his arms. Like crawling into bed with my Me-maw after Pe-paw went to work at 5 am....the warmth and familiarity envelopes me and I just know everything will work out because He has planned it so and so it will be. Hmmmm I wonder what people will think...but then I ought to not care nearly so much. I have all I need.
Matthew 5:4
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
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